Some days I like to spend quality time with my children, playing, watching kids movies, eating popcorn, or going to a park. Other days I need some time out to do things that have to be done. House work and cooking don't just do themselves. On these days my children get together and try out the trifecta of distraction.
Incessant chatter. Willow owns this, she IS chatter all bundled up into a tiny human body. Chatter, expansive arm gestures and passion. Unfortunately there is no off button and she will hunt you down to tell you stuff. HUNT YOU DOWN. Do not try to leave, do not respond with, 'mmmhmm,' because she will scold you for not listening. She will question you on what she just said. You are stuck. There is no escape. You have to ride this out or you will find yourself suffering this the entire day because you must be punished for not listening the first time.
Nate steps in at some point, breaking off the chatter. He enters with some screaming. Something has gone to shit. Peppa Pig has switched off, The Goodies DVD is scratched, the block he was looking for wasn't there; something has changed and I have to figure it out through a series of screams and single syllable words. I ask, "Peppa Pig?" The intense ear splitting scream tells me that is a "no". "You want something to eat?" Scream. "Is the DVD skipping?" Scream. "Are you looking for Woody?" Hysterical scream. I got to get this right before the house collapses or he shatters the crystal. We continue this way until I get no response at all. That is the one.
All is quiet, Andre boils the kettle, makes a cuppa, sits next to me and we start to talk...
'Mum, mum, mum, up, up...' I place the coffee down calmly. Pick up Jude who smiles, throws his dummy, climbs down to get it, turns back and...
I pick him back up and this process is repeated until my coffee is cold and the conversation has stopped.
It is lucky I love them and that school is going back. Very lucky school is going back. One more day to survive, then when Jude is asleep I'm going to have a hot coffee. Oh yes, I'm going all out - might even have a dunk of a scotch finger (and not share). I'm decadent like that. A real badass. Go me.