Sunday, 1 September 2013

Spring time!

I don't know about all of you but I have been hanging for this winter to be over. I always know when spring has sprung. I feel the urge to clean then start making huge plans for the warmer months that never come to fruition. I have started planning for our first camping trip. Just a quick weekend one coming up soon. I don't know why I'm insisting on the camping thing, but dammit I am. The kids will get better at it, I will relax and we will have enjoyable family time... or so help me!

This time last year we decided to sell the house and go on a year long trip around Australia. That idea has been fraught with opposition from the universe. Our house very quickly became swamped in an overcrowded market. When we put our house on the market there were four others. None of them family homes. As soon as we put ours up, everyone else had the same idea. There are currently fifteen houses on the market here, not including ours. None have sold since November last year. So without the option of selling, we had to come up with a Plan B. Move to the city. Not exactly what we want, but at least we would be moving forward.

Moving forward has become hard since having kids and especially since having Nate. Taking risks and being spontaneous is completely ruled out and I've had to mourn the loss of my impulsive streak. I've learnt to come to terms with a lot of things about having a special needs child, but losing myself and giving up parts of me that I actually love has been hard. I have had to rediscover myself as Arlene, mum of three and sensible adult. 

I guess our plan to travel was a big 'fuck you' to the world who keeps telling us what we should be doing now we have a child who requires routine and lots of intervention. We wanted to travel, see places we have never seen, meet people, spend time as a family, find a way to raise some money for an autism cause along the way and show ourselves that life doesn't have to stop until we get Nate to where we think he should be. 

The universe obviously has different plans for us. Now we have to find another dream for the next few years. We are stuck with a mortgage and we are moving to a place neither of us are really keen on, but we are trying something. We are doing things that we hope can give us the social connection we require and the life we imagined together when we used to sit talking late into the night when we were teenagers. Things aren't glum, they aren't terrible, they just aren't quite what we planned. Who can honestly say that things have gone to plan though? What would be the fun in that?

Happy spring everyone!
First paddle for spring!

Jude owns the park. Strut it baby.

Glowing white after a long winter.